I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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