It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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