A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
