I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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