Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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