apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
