Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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