Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.