I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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