Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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