it wasn't lemon gatorade
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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