i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
