I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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