"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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