One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
