remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize