I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whose ass print is on the piano?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
