My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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