If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
