have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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