somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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