I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Someone signed my nipple.
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