I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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