But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're like the curious george of whores
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
