thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am puke
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
bring money and cleavage
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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