If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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