You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
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Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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