He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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