she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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