Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I did not marry a roomba.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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