Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
