new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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