Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
