the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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