Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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