I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
