ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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