i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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