got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
