At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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