If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
