I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
