I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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