I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Having a random hookup so left but love u
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
