It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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