they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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