The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
