then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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