so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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