Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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