Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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