What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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