that's an acceptable place to lick
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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