Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
