i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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