I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
