lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
