I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
