I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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