Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
