Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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