Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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