I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
