WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
