I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
