So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
