Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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