Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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